Little earthquakes, big confessions.
I remember the first time I listened to Little Earthquakes. At the time, I was all about finding new albums and giving them cheeky ratings in my notes app. I had no idea about the masterpiece I was about to listen to and how it would cause insecurities I was too scared to confront to bubble up to the surface while simultaneously making me feel understood. Tori Amos writes about self-worth, relationships, and sexual assault in a raw, vulnerable manner. She lays everything out on the table and allows the listener to reap comfort from her lyrics. Little Earthquakes is a whimsical, eccentric album detailing the experiences of womanhood with no fear. As a girl who has often been told she is "too emotional" or "too dramatic," Little Earthquakes feels like a safe haven. Listening to this album allowed me to embrace all parts of myself, even the slightly darker parts. While the entire album is a masterpiece, a few songs have special importance to me, so here I’ll be writing about these songs, why Tori wrote them, and the lessons that help me navigate my womanhood.
The album starts with "Crucify." "Crucify" was written by Tori after the failure of her first release, Y Kant Tori Read. Tori writes about this feeling of failure in her book Resistance. She notes how low she felt, especially after seeing an article that described her as having gone from a child prodigy to a "vapid bimbo." "Crucify" speaks about Tori’s battle with self-hatred and, in the process, helps the listener heal from any feelings of low self-worth they may hold. In this song, she writes, "Nothing I do is good enough for you." She is sick of being a people pleaser, sick of never being able to feel like enough despite her best efforts. For people like me, who have struggled with trying to please everyone around us and falling prone to losing ourselves in the process, it feels like Tori is telling us that this needs to end now. She brings forward the harsh reality that pleasing everyone is impossible and that in the process, we are betraying (or "crucifying") ourselves. In a 1995 interview, when asked about "Crucify," Tori said, "I would get taken advantage of. You know, do things for somebody, and they walk over you, or want to make you feel like nothing." "Crucify" highlights the importance of reclaiming your strength after a failure. The song ends with Tori saying she is never going back to crucify herself, a message I hold with me.
"Precious Things" holds a special place in my heart, being my favourite song on the album. Tori writes, "He said you’re really an ugly girl / But I like the way you play / and I thanked him / Can you believe that?" Listening to these lyrics genuinely felt like a punch in my throat. Around the age of 15, I remember male validation feeling like the stamp of approval. Just like Tori, I would allow negging behavior from low-life teenage boys. It is embarrassing to admit, but sadly it happens, and at the time, we know no better. I appreciate Tori’s ability to write about it and let us know it is universal, while also telling us to stand up and demand more for ourselves. In the bridge (the part of the song that never fails to make me sob), Tori talks about feeling alienated and undesired. She feels like she is different from the "pretty girls" and refers to them as "demigods." I have always interpreted this as Tori idealizing them while also feeling envious of what they have and wanting to be a part of what feels like an elite club. As a girl who has never been popular in any social setting, the bridge to this song is honestly gut-wrenching.
"Mother" explores themes of feminism and how it feels growing up and being slammed with the realities of the patriarchal society we exist in. The mother-daughter relationship is used to symbolize a fearful coming of age, where you no longer have your mother to guide every step you take, and now have to brave the world on your own. Tori writes, "I walked into your dream / And now I’ve forgotten / How to dream my own dream." This brings to the surface Tori’s fear of getting married and giving up parts of herself to fulfill her partner. In a 1991 interview, she recalls her grandma believing that one day she would sell her soul to God and her body to the man whom she marries. In a religious household, hearing phrases like this can be frightening for young girls; the narrative that one day you will be "owned" by someone makes marriage appear daunting. Nobody wants to lose parts of themselves for their partner, and we should not have to. As someone who has never felt a strong desire for marriage, I relate heavily to Tori. She then goes on to write, "He’s gonna change my name," almost like he will rip her from her family roots and make her feel unrecognizable. I’ve always interpreted this as it being scary for her to allow him to have so much control over her. The reality is this is not how marriage should go, but societal pressure makes many women feel like they have to be "the perfect bride" (serve your husband, raise your kids, and leave nothing for yourself). Through this song, Tori offers a warm hug, telling us we are not alone in our fears.
In the gut-wrenching acapella ‘Me and a gun’, Tori writes about rape. At the age of 21, Tori agreed to give a man a ride home, he then proceeded to hold her at knifepoint and rape her, whilst threating to let his friends do the same. The lack of instrumental ensures that we are listening to her story and her story alone. ‘Yes I wore a slinky red thing/ Does that mean I should spread?’. The disgusting, harmful narrative that woman being dressed in a certain way is the reason they are raped runs rampant. Tori makes sure to highlight that how a woman is dressed is NEVER the reason for rape and that to believe so is ridiculous. She says that ‘She hasn’t seen Barbados/ so she must get out of this.’ Through saying this she is expressing her desire for life, she has yet to fulfil all her dreams and will not let this be where her life ends. In 1994 Tori Amos co-founded the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), an organisation that supports survivors of sexual assaults and aims to reach justice for survivors. Tori’s strength is inspiring for many young women including myself.
Little Earthquakes will forever be one of my favourite albums.
Listen to Little Earthquakes on Spotify
